When You've Outgrown Your Dreams
At the time we establish a dream, we have no idea how much we will grow and expand on the way to seeing the dream become a reality. What can we do when we outgrow our dreams? Recalibrate.
When Big Dreams Vanish
At the beginning of this year, I took up a regular early-morning practice of naming “50 Possibilities” for the day that lay before me. It was awesome for a while. I would name things that were very realistic but which I still really wanted to see happen in my day, and I would also name “far out” things that a naysayer would roll her eyes at. The idea was to not limit myself and to keep believing that anything really was possible because all is new in each moment. Many of the things I intended—big and small—came into reality for me and I loved this practice.
Until I didn’t.
For whatever reason, over time, instead of becoming easier with practice, it started becoming more and more challenging for me to envision things I wanted. It wasn’t as if too many of the intentions had come true and I was out of ideas, it was that so many of the ideas started losing their luster. Huh? Why, I wondered to myself, would I not feel excited about things I thought I had wanted for years? This became frustrating and, frankly, a little alarming to me. What was happening to my ability to visualize what I wanted out of life? Had I reached the end of the road? That idea seemed ridiculous, of course, so what was going on? For weeks and weeks I had no clue and it actually started to get me down.
I was finding it really difficult to stay focused on the tasks I assumed were important. I didn’t enjoy parts of my daily routine that had been pleasing to me previously. Eventually, I started questioning my contribution to the world. I was itching to explore something new, but was really struggling to conjure up what that was, and for the life of me, I just couldn’t get to a place of feeling excited about something to reach for.
What I discovered was that this all can feel like a subtle form of depression.
Dreaming of the Journey
It had (and has) me experiencing firsthand the old adage about how it’s all more about the journey than the destination. “Life” as I knew it was (and is) great and when I looked around me I could see how much I had to be grateful for: loving life partner, working for myself which I wanted for years, a beautiful home in my favorite Phoenix neighborhood, a wonderful set of loving and supporting friends and more. I didn’t wish to dismiss the utopia I’d arrived at and that’s when it hit me.
I had finally materialized just about everything that had been a dream for years! I had reached a destination of sorts and now it was simply time to think about plotting out a new journey.
This doesn’t mean to me that it’s time to leave my loving relationships, move out of my dream home and embark on a new career, in a new location, but it does have me realizing that it’s time for me to take a fresh look at my set of passions, values and ideals because I’ve grown substantially since that time (about ten years ago) when I made it clear to the Universe what I wanted (and got).
Desires Spring from What We Know
Back when we set our sights on getting to where we (luckily) ended up, we lacked the awareness that we have gained since then. We didn’t know exactly what our capacity for growth was or what we’d learn in the process of obtaining out dreams. It makes me think about how at such a young age (high school) we are forced into choosing a major in college or trade school and then are so often disillusioned by the time we’ve finished our education or job training and then had a chance to try the work on for a year or so before realizing, ugh . . .THIS isn’t what I want to keep doing for years to come.
This didn’t exactly happen to me. I studied through a Visual Communications program (graphic design, photography and commercial print production) at Western Washington University and every area of my studies has served me throughout the twenty-five years I’ve seen since then. But I can see how easily it could happen to anyone because I had no idea what I was all about or what I really wanted from life at age 16. And, of course, I’m still discovering more about both those things and will continue in that vein until my current body is six feet under.
As the lightbearers we are, we are evolving daily, though we may not see the changes in ourselves until we’re able to look back a year or more. As our horizons are expanded, we learn more and more about our truest nature and we are introduced to more and more possibilities, it’s easy to see how what we want out of life can change.
Recalibrating Hopes and Dreams
I know I’m not alone in this experience of recalibration. So many friends I talk with are in a very similar place of wondering what’s next. I’ve decided to take myself under new examination; to use fresh eyes and pretend I haven’t spent years defining who I am and what I’m about. I’m working with myself as I would work with any coaching client seeking clarity around his or her life’s purpose. I suspect that many findings won’t be new, but I’m actually deeply curious about the things that will be. I’m excited at the thought that the growth I’ve experienced over the past decade can now show me new possibilities to consider that I wouldn’t have known to consider previously. I will retake assessments and search out new ones and I will be open to the results being different than I expect.
Next year I’ll be 50 and I bet it will be my best decade yet. I can’t say what exactly I’ll be doing with my life or how similar or dissimilar it will look from how things are now, because I don’t know what I don’t know. But in the days, weeks and months to come, I’ll be sniffing out new possibilities and trying on new big dreams and we’ll see where it all goes!
If you, too, are feeling stuck and uninspired, I’d love to work with you to uncover your own new possibilities and perhaps slightly-reconditioned purpose. I’m available for phone/video coaching sessions as well as email coaching and I will share with you any helpful tools I discover as I continue on my own journey.
Is Your New Year Full of Possibility?
When we free ourselves from how we think things will turn out, something shifts and unlimited possibilities are our for the taking. Included in this post is a free worksheet to help you start thinking of new possibilities.
For the past month or so, I have been thinking, breathing and embodying the concept of possibility. I’ve grown tired of repeating certain patterns and experiences in my life and I’m making a sincere effort of adopting a new line of thinking—to remind myself again and again that in addition to coming from a place absent of love, every fear, worry and place of suffering comes from basing thoughts on what I know to have happened in the past. It’s just what a brain naturally does because to the ego, going about anything differently is a bad idea; to the ego, all change inevitably invites death. Luckily, you and I—our Inner Selves—are wiser than our egos. We have the ability to wake up and remember that everything is completely new in the present moment and anything is possible. Anything.
Break Free of What's Familiar
When we are so accustomed to assuming we know what is going to happen on any given day and at any given hour, remaining open to possibility can leave us skeptical. It can be hard to put our trust into happy surprises coming our way because we fear we’ll be disappointed, and then we are, and the cycle continues. But why should we assume things ever need be exactly as they have been in the past? The future is unwritten. Events and patterns repeat because we will them to repeat—most often unconsciously—and we become comfortable with the familiar.
Invite In the Possibility of the New and Unexpected
I’m ready for many parts of my routine to be different; to be upgraded; to be beautifully extra-ordinary. To do this, I knew I needed to be able to expand my idea of possibility. I needed to think much bigger and not just occasionally when inspiration hit me, but daily—preferably several times a day.
The 50-Possibilities Practice
I began an early-morning exercise that I would play around with while still in bed, during the time when my rational-self isn’t fully awake yet, and here’s what I did (and am still doing each morning). I made an effort to come up with fifty possible (good) things that I could experience in my day to come. I included anything I could come up with, big or small, serious or silly. For example: I will discover a new way to wear something in my closet or I’ll discover a new book I need to read or ten new people will subscribe to my newsletter list or someone I admire will contact me with an idea for collaboration. And the things I came up with ranged from even simpler things to things of much bigger magnitude. The first couple days I tried it, I couldn’t come up with fifty, but more like twenty or thirty. It’s gotten easier over time, especially since I often repeat possibilities from one day to the next.
From day one, I’m delighted to tell you, many things that I put on my “50-Possibilities” list have happened. It’s been enough to feed my soul and make me want to keep doing the practice. We know that the first step toward creating anything we desire in life is to think it. So rather than continuing to live in mediocrity, dialed down from the magnificent experiences we long for, let’s THINK BIG and embrace the notion that anything IS possible! The practice of being open in this way can be revisited at any time, on any day—that’s its nature after all!—and heading into a new year makes it all the more fun in my mind; would you agree?
8 Points of Possibility
Let’s contemplate all of the possible things that can happen for us in 2018. I know thinking big is a muscle that may have atrophied a bit and could use some stretching and warming up, so I created a little worksheet for us that takes into account eight areas of life that hold incredible potential for us. These will look familiar if you saw the Life Balance Mandala project I posted not too long ago.
If sharing a part of yourself with the world through the process of writing a book is a possibility that ends up on your list, you might be interested in a new course I’ve created called Discover the Book Within You. It officially opens for enrollment on January 8, but just prior to that, I’ll be sending out a special offer to folks on my newsletter list, so sign up (below) if this interests you. I’d love to hear what other possibilities you’re open to for 2018. Feel free to share in the comments or drop me a line; I love getting mail!
Here’s to any and all of the possibilities that will bring us joy in the new year! XO
Why You Should Try Crafting Gratitude
Here's a little review of a wonderful new book by Maggie Oman Shannon called Crafting Gratitude. In this post, I share a bit about the book (including a project I have in the book as a contributor) as well as my interpretation of a project from the book—Thanksgiving Cards—just in time for . . . yep, Thanksgiving.
Crafting Gratitude: Creating and Celebrating Our Blessings with Hands and Heart by Maggie Oman Shannon came out last month and I'm here to share with you that if you've been looking for creative ideas for bringing more of what you want in life to fruition, this is an excellent route to take.
I was already a fan of Maggie's other books—Crafting Calm and A String & a Prayer (coauthored with Eleanor Wiley)—so when she approached me a while back about possibly being a contributor in her newest book, Crafting Gratitude, I was obviously . . .both excited and grateful! :-)
Maggie's new book is filled with so many great ideas for celebrating gratitude in tangible ways through tactile practices including many actual craft projects such as jewelry, candle-making and card-making. The chapters are focused on areas of our lives where we can ponder gratitude: relationships (including family, friends and our preferred Divine Source), health, prosperity, home, nature, opportunities, etc. The instruction in this book is completely text-based, and there are no illustrated step-by-step directions. As Maggie mentions in her book's introduction:
This is not so much a "how to" book, but a "why to" book; my intention here is to give you ideas for making these gratitude practices your own.
And a wonderful "why to" book it is!
Thanksgiving Cards
I was immediately inspired from the beginning of the book. In the first chapter, Maggie has a suggestion for creating Thanksgiving Cards in lieu of (or addition to!) traditional holiday cards. These are cards that you send to others to express how you are grateful for something they contribute to your life and happiness. This includes people who help in significant ways, but also those people whom you might not know as closely, but who make your life easier in some way. I loved this idea and couldn't wait to start crafting. I decided to hand-carve a stamp design that would be easy for me to add some color to via watercolor paints, yet didn't necessarily say "fall" or "turkey time." I also didn't want my cards to appear as typical "thank-you" cards (not there's one single thing wrong with thank-you cards; I just was going for a different type of experience) and I pulled it off in a way that I was happy with.
I'm truly looking forward to sharing these with some of the people in my life who have recently been there for me in a variety of ways. And, as I was starting a list this morning, I realized I am going to need to make more! (There are worse things!)
Values Bracelet
My own project in the book is a bracelet project that celebrates one's core values and unique place of purpose in the world. It's in the Gratitude for Vocations and Avocations chapter and my intention was for it to help readers appreciated the gifts they possess that contribute positively to the lives of others.
Many of the project ideas in the book are ritual-based, which I love, offering numerous ways to practice gratitude on a regular basis, in ways that are suited to each person such as time of day or even time of year; activities meant to be practiced privately as well as ideas for families or groups; spiritual practices as well as simple daily reminders.
As we move into the celebration of Thanksgiving next week, I hope you'll give this book some consideration as a fun support system for celebrating gratitude the remainder of the year.
And as I close, I am grateful to you, dear friend, for continually reading my blog posts and providing me with a purpose. Happy Thanksgiving! Love, Tonia
Accepting the Stillness – an Act of Self-Love
Some days we just need to listen to the still small voice within, slow down and quiet the mind and body. Not to be confused with depression, periods of stillness and nondoing are essential for longterm happiness and wellbeing.
Lately I've been in a season of operating more slowly, of doing less and being still. I get a natural urge to be this way every few months and it used to make me think something was wrong. I would seek out suggestions for improving focus, ideas for increasing energy and I would try to almost force inspiration into a mind that I thought was just being sluggish. It used to drive me crazy! It doesn't so much anymore; I've made peace with it and can actually kind of enjoy it now.
It can be easy to feel guilty for not getting more done in a day or week. To fret that we will fall behind or are wasting time. But we are a part of nature and nature needs periods of downtime (known to us as winter) for replenishment. If we don't take this time voluntarily, we often get sick. We know this, and so often still ignore the need. I grew tired of being frustrated with these seasons of stillness (which came around much more regularly than actual wintertime) and having seen enough times that they really do seem to end when they're ready (when my inner-knowing is ready) and I always return to my enthusiastic-with- and inspired-by-life self. Trusting in this makes it feel OK. Slowing down and just being a bit more still with my life is actually like a little staycation and it's kind of nice.
I find myself meditating more often during prolonged periods of stillness. I very rarely ever go more than one day without meditating at least once, but during these times it's not uncommon for me to enjoy it three times a day. It feels like an act of self-love to give myself permission for this and to take extra time to simply listen to what might be going on deep within. And also to be patient with myself and not judge the slowing-down as inefficient, nonproductive or somehow irresponsible. Because in the long run, I believe it's the opposite. Another worry I used to have was that if I gave in and stopped fighting the urge to slow down, it would mean I would slowly ease into a period of depression which scared me more than anything. Through practice though, I've learned to tell the difference between having a desire to operate more slowly and do less busy tasks, and a feeling of indifference for life (one symptom of depression for me). And, if I'm not sure, I ask myself which it is. Then I listen for the answer.
How do you feel about embracing the stillness? I'd very much enjoy seeing your answers to the short little survey below. I'd also love to give you a reminder that it's OK to keep still and embrace the quiet periods when they prompt you. So, I made three little concrete pendants and stamped them with a hand-carved stamp. I'll be giving these away to three randomly selected winners. To be eligible for the drawing, complete the following survey and include your name. The e-mail slot is optional; if you fill it in, I'll add you to my list, but I promise it's not required to have a chance to win. I will have a post about the giveaway on my Instagram feed and my Facebook profile. For additional chances to win, tag a friend in the comments for either post. I'll run the giveaway through the end of Friday (PST) and will announce the three winners Monday, Oct 30 on Instagram and Facebook. Thanks for playing! xo
Short Survey
Pen and Paper, Please - Why We Love Real Things
Are you a part of what I call the "planner craze"? Do you prefer printed books to digital books? Do you default to list-making by hand instead of in an app? If so, have you ever wondered why so many of us prefer actual things to virtual things? I'll share with you here what I learned about our culture's current return to the love of analog.
In the last four or five years, there’s been a noticeable increase in a return to analog, and I’m not just talking about vinyl records. As creative types who love to make things, we artists are naturally drawn to the tactile, aren’t we? But I don’t believe it’s only artists who are beginning to realize their love of authenticity—of real things—over digital “convenience.”
Suddenly it seems as if no one is too concerned with keeping their lives organized solely on their phones or hard drives. People are now NUTS for hardcopy planners. I have to admit, before owning my own business, I had little use for a planner of any sort, but now? I’ve come to truly [heart] planners. (I’m actually expecting my new Daily Greatness Journal for Business any day now!) And, of course there’s the case to be made for printed books versus e-pubs.
I was curious from a human behavior perspective why we love actual things versus digital/virtual things, so I did a bit of research and came up with some very logical (and not surprising) reasons. On the chance you would find all of this interesting, as well, I'm sharing it here.
Writing with Real Pens on Real Paper
There’s something about writing on paper that gives a heads-up to our brains that we’re taking whatever it is we’re writing more seriously, even when this may not actually be the case. Because we can’t write as fast as we can type, we process more carefully when deciding how much to write down. Writing by hand using a series of finger movements that activate multiple regions in the brain associated with processing and learning/remembering. It’s like better exercise for our brains. When we have to slow down to write, we have more time to be creative and deliberate.
And then there’s the science of graphology and the aspect of our personality being alive fully in our writing. Not too much character to our typing!
Speaking of typing, think of how much more skill it takes to write than to type. Yes, you have to memorize where the keys are, just as you need to memorize the shape of each letter in order to recreate it with a pen or pencil, but essentially, every letter requires the same general movement with typing—pressing down. Handwriting on the other hand requires far more cognitive prowess. There’s holding and moving the writing implement in a variety of ways; being aware of keeping x-heights consistent and legible . . . I mean, it’s a lot of thinking. Studies show that children who learn to write by hand have much better recognition of the letters than those who only learn to type. It’s a body-memory thing. Recovering stroke victims relearn reading by tracing letters with their fingers.
Reading Real Books
We all know the arguments for digital books: price, portability and physical storage. But the reasons we often prefer physical books seemed more elusive on the surface. The answer most people come up with is that printed books are tactile and feel good to hold. OK, I agree, but really, is that it??
Physical orientation memory - As it turns out, interacting with an actual book is actually more engaging to your mind and research also suggests reading hardcopy books aids in learning. Have you ever noticed that when you recall a quote or short passage from a book, you can nearly always remember the approximate place you read it—left page or right page and general placement on the page? This is due to what’s called physical orientation memory. This supports our survival because we need to recall where we spotted food, safe shelter, etc. Being able to physically “see” the spot on the page where we read something, increases the likelihood we’ll remember it. Can you imagine trying to recall placement on a scrolling webpage?
Another reason we like real books is that we can gauge our progress through the book, being able to easily see how much we’ve read and how much is left. People are much more likely to finish a real book and give up much less easily.
Real books are easier to interact with—easier to bookmark, easier to highlight favorite passages or make notes in the margins. Then, there’s the obvious advantage that the paper version won’t run out of battery life and isn’t prone to technological glitches.
Technology advances, but the human form is much slower to advance. We need tangible things to help us feel alive and to keep our minds pliable and functional.
Speaking of books . . . real or digital . . . how is the writing of your book coming along? Did I tell you I'm super excited about a course I'm putting together (I'm more than half done now!) called Discovering Your Inner Book Idea? [title may change] Be sure you're on my email list so you're among the first to know when it's available. And if there's any support I can give you for getting your book out into the world, you know who to call, right? :-)
How Are Your Values Making You Happy?
Do you know what your top-5 values are? Knowing the things that are most cherished by you has many advantages including finding more balance in your life by seeing more easily where you might be out of alignment.
Values shape who you are, not who you think you should be. Many people neglect their innate values and instead choose to adopt values placed on them by their parents or friends. By coincidence these could be one in the same, but unlikely.
One way to discover whether or not a value is authentic or imposed is to ask yourself, Does honoring this value with every fiber of my being bring a sense of love and peace when I inhale it? Or does it feel like work or something I'm supposed to do in order to find success or approval?
Not being clear on your core values can leave you searching and wandering through your life, not being sure where to go or what to do. Your values can actually assist you with your life balance; in knowing what actions to prioritize and allow to enrich your life. When you don’t have a clear sense of your values, your actions might actually be at odds with your core values and this leads to frustration and lack of fulfillment.
Do You Know What Your Values Are?
In a quest to bring other's top-5 values to light, I often include a values exercise in my offerings (such as The Why of You) that presents a list of possible values to pick from. It’s a long list! And the thing is, it can be easy to go overboard and pick many, many values from the list. This is because most of us will always identify—to a great or small extent—to nearly every value on the list. This is one of the things that makes us all One and allows us to empathize with others, regardless of our actual experience. But the thing that makes us each unique and different is that we all resonate stronger with some values than others.
For example, Community and Impact are two values that I appreciate as being very important and I make an effort to support each in my life when I can. But they are not actually a part of my personal top-5. Does this compromise my integrity or make me less honorable than someone who has one or both of them on his or her list? Of course not.
As you may have guessed if you’ve been with me for a while, Authenticity is one of my top-5. But I can’t expect that to be part of everyone’s list and I would never hold not having it on a top-5 list against them. I understand that it may very well be very important to them—maybe it’s even number six or seven on their list. It’s simply that they have other roles to play. By each of us holding different values at the top of our lists, it ensures that everything in the world gets taken care of because it would be crazy for us all to assume the responsibility for everything.
How Is Being Clear on Your Values Important?
- Values shine a new light on your goals as you decide whether something you’ve set out to accomplish is truly in alignment with what you really want.
- Recalling your values during times of uncertainty or suffering can actually help bring reassurance and even a sense of peace.
- A clear set of values gives you a feeling of purpose in your life.
How Are Your Values Making You Happy?
- Are each of your top-5 values reflected in your current life’s activities—daily, weekly or at least monthly?
- Think of each of the part each of values plays (or currently is not playing) in the areas of your work, your relationships and your personal time.
- Which values are you saying Yes to? Which ones might you be denying?
Just a little food for thought. xo
If there's anyway I can support you in gaining clarity around your values, I'd very much enjoy talking to you about it. Also, I'm currently putting together a rich e-course tentatively called Discovering the Book Inside of You. Mining for values, passions, skills and strengths is a big part of the course. To be among the first to know when the course is launched (and receive a special discount), be sure to add your name to my e-mail list.
Life Balance Mandala - A Fun Way to Check In
Here's a fun way to take a snapshot of how you're feeling in this moment. Creating a mandala is a wonderful way to connect to your innermost knowing—an artful selfie of sorts.
There's a common coaching tool known as the Wheel of Life (not to be confused with the Tibetan Wheel of Life) that's used to take a snapshot of how you perceive the balance in your life on the day you complete the exercise. Lately I've enjoyed making mandalas in the transition time I typically enjoy between work and the activities of the evening and I thought it would be fun to apply the wheel-of-life concept in an artful way to the creation of a mandala.
A Wheel of Life is typically a circle divided into several pie sections with each section labeled with one area of life—career, health, recreation, romance, spirituality and so forth. A series of concentric circles are created at equal distances from the center—usually 10—with "1" being the innermost circle and "10" being the outside circle. The practice is to mark in each section of the pie what level of satisfaction you're feeling in that life area, on a scale of 1 to 10 with 1 being the least satisfied and 10 being perfectly satisfied. The finished chart is simply intended to give you a visual of what areas in your life you're more or less happy with in that moment. It's not meant as a judgement of any sort; it's just a tool to allow you to see the overall picture. And since mandalas are great meditation tools, I was in the mood to explore these areas of my life in a meditative way.
Would you like to give one a try yourself?
Remember to not think of this process as anything more than a snapshot of how you are in this moment. It doesn't need to be an indication of areas you "should" work on; it's simply a way for you to connect with what's going on inside you.
I'd love to see what you create if you feel like sharing. Just use the hashtag #lifebalancemandala.
And if there's any way I can support you in those areas of your life that fill you with purpose and allow you to share your message with others, drop me a note; I'd love to hear from you!
Can Self-Love Be Hand-Stitched Into Your Heart?
I'm back with another meditative handcraft tutorial, this time a sweet hand-stitched dream pillow in pretty pink (the color of intuition, hope and love). If you've been feeling rundown, sad or frustrated with life, this self-soothing project encourages self-love and the space to pause and breathe.
During a period you may be feeling down, this sweet little project shows your heart some love, while the act of hand-stitching quiets your mind and reminds you you're truly always doing the best you can. When complete, you will write a short note of love to yourself, slip it into your heart and place the soft envelope under your pillow for sweet and supporting dreams.
A couple days ago, I introduced you to the powerful properties of pink and showed you how to achieve a beautiful shade of vintage rose by dyeing fabric with a dye bath made from boiling avocado pits! Now I want to share with you a feel-good project that uses the fabric (or any pink fabric if you don't wish to dye your own) you dyed.
You could use a sewing machine to create the main structure of this project—the envelope—but I highly recommend you stay connected to the slowness of hand-stitching for this one, for its quiet dance of repetitive stitches and loving thoughtfulness for what you're creating. It will send soothing medicine to your heart, reaffirming the love you really do have for yourself deep down inside.
Let's get stitching!
What You Need
Envelope
- button, smallish, flat 2-hole
- craft knife (sharp blade)
- cutting mat
- dyed fabrics: wide eyelet lace (at least 3” [8cm]), solid backing for lace and a simple cotton
- embroidery floss, color to coordinate with fabric
- fabric scissors
- needle(s), embroidery and sewing (optional)
- paper scissors (or craft knife)
- pencil
- quilting ruler
- rotary cutter
- scrap paper and cardstock
- sewing thread, color to match cotton fabric
- straight pins
Sachet
- drawstring jewelry pouch, small
- lavender, dried
- needle
- rose buds, dried
- sewing thread
I hope this little project soothed you and that working on it really felt like an act of self-care because it was. In addition to acting as a messenger of self-love to your heart, anytime you have a question for your Higher Self, you can write it on a slip of paper and tuck it into this pillow before sleep. Answers will come the next day—most likely when you least expect it.
For additional support in finding the answers to the questions you already have within yourself, please let me know and we will find solutions together. xo
The Power of Pink + How to Dye with Avocado Pits
You won't believe how easy it is to dye fabric this beautiful shade of pink (the color of intuition, hope and love!) using a handful of fresh avocado pits! I'll show you how in this post.
The color Pink has wonderful properties. As a blend of Red (bravery, passion and determination) and White (lightness, insight and innocence), Pink is intuitive, hopeful and loving, but also playful, nurturing and understanding. Is Pink your favorite color? You are loving, kind and sensitive to others. You long to be accepted for who you are and you lean toward childlike wonder and optimism. I've always been a huge fan of pink for many reasons, one of which is that it often reminds me of my maternal grandma, whom I associate with roses and peonies.
For a couple months now I've been seeing several social media posts featuring fabric dyed the most gorgeous shades of vintage pink and when I first discovered the dye came from avocado skins or pits, I was amazed! I knew I had to try it for myself to see if it really was as easy as everyone made it sound. It is. So I'm excited to share the process with you, because I'm guessing you love pink, too. (It can be our secret if you like.) If you wish to try this process, start saving your avocado pits. Rinse off the fruit flesh and keep them fresh in a container in your refrigerator until you have enough to give the dye bath a good shot at working—8–12 or so.
And . . . because of the loving properties of Pink, I'll share with you a self-love project that I created using the fabrics you'll see me dye, so come back to check that out if you're curious about ideas for using the fabric made from this easy process. OK, let's get to it!
What You Need
- avocado pits (I used 10 from a variety of avocado types)
- fabric to dye
- soup pot (dedicated to dyeing)
- stove
- water
Now that I'm convinced how truly easy this process it, I'm going to start saving more pits and plan to dye a T-shirt or two—probably one solid and one with some tie-dye technique. I'll probably also look into suggestions for fixing the color so it withstands multiple washings. Or not, we'll see. :-)
Don't forget to check back on Thursday to see the pretty project I made using my pretty pink fabrics.
If you give this a try, I'd love to see what you create, keeping the powerful properties of pink in mind. So much loving potential here! xo
Can #[number]daysof[something] Improve Your Life?
I'm by no means a #[number]daysof[something] professional, but I have participated in a few and I've even surprised myself at how fulfilling they can be AND that I actually have it in me to complete them! In this quick post, I share with you the benefits of the #[number]daysof[something] challenge in hopes you'll give the next one that calls to you—in even some small way—a chance.
They've become pretty popular, haven't they? #30daysofthis, #40daysofthat or even #100daysoftheotherthing. Have you ever participated in one of these challenges? If not, what are your reasons? (No judgement here, I promise!)
My first challenge was self-imposed and was did not actually have anything to do with an Instagram challenge. It was self-prescribed art therapy during a challenging time in my life and I needed a daily outlet of expressing what I was going through. I didn't commit to a particular period of time, only that it would be daily. To make it easier to achieve success, I made some parameters for myself so I'd avoid excuses. It had to be completed on my phone (always with me and no need for set-up time) and I was limited to three colors: black, white and red. I posted these daily creations on Facebook and ended up doing it every day for over a year.
Fast forward about five years and after seeing a friend's participation in the #100DaysOf Challenge for several rounds, something was prompting me to give it a try. I recalled the days of my doodling challenge and figured if I could stay engaged with that for so long, I probably stood a decent chance of 100 days—IF, again, I made it simple. So, I participated with #100daysofpersonalsymbols. A year later, I participated again with #100daysofteastains.
One-hundred days is a lot, I won't lie. But it was doable and the sense of satisfaction I gained was totally worth it, not to mention the bodies of work that resulted from each. I also learned something new about myself each time. So when a friend recently challenged me to a yoga challenge, I had to really think about it for a bit, but knew it was something I could tackle and felt highly compelled to try. By the way, so far it's going GREAT and I am reaping the rewards physically. What I didn't expect was to run across another challenge today (yesterday as of the publishing of this post) that I found hard to resist. (#40daysofnocomplaining if you're interested.) My thought after committing: What is happening to me?
A part of me is now wondering if participating in these could become its own habit. Here's what I'm finding to be the benefits of these challenges and I challenge you to give a #[number]daysof[something] challenge a try!
- The chance to try something new.
- The probability you'll learn something new about yourself. I discovered I'm a much better illustrator than I'd every imagined! Also, I'm now learning I've spent years bending my spine one direction, but not the other and in moving in new ways, I'm increasing great energy flow!
- Reasonable commitment. New Year's challenges can be pretty tough to live up to, but thirty days (or so) is completely doable!
- Accountability. Completing challenges is so much more fun when you have a community to share your daily experience with. I really believe this part—daily posting on Instagram or the platform of your choice—is the key to success.
- Self-love. Participating and achieving what you set out to accomplish really feels like a gift to yourself.
- Fulfillment. Participation builds self-confidence.
I'd love to hear about your experiences with this sort of challenge or with any new challenge you're considering. I've been brainstorming about what type of challenge I'd like to initiate myself and would love to hear your thoughts on that as well!
Meditate and Make - Multitasking for True Fulfillment
Beading on a loom is a wonderful form of meditation. As a bonus, when you're done meditating, you have completed a wearable item! In this post, I'll show you—step-by-step—how to use the Baby Jewel Loom to create a pretty beaded bracelet.
Every Thursday I've been posting something about publishing and believe me, there's more where that came from! But I wanted to detour just a wee bit today and share with you a little how-to bracelet project. I am a firm believer that many handcrafts are some of the best meditation when steps in the process are repeated over and over. (Art making can be meditation, too, such as Zen doodling, but I liken art-making more to art therapy simply because different brain processes can be involved in creating intuitively vs. creating with a set, repetitive pattern.) Certain beadwork falls into this repetitive category and I've found working on the Jewel Loom ripe with opportunity for falling into a meditative state. And because meditation leads to greater self-awareness—something you know I'm all about encouraging you to explore—I thought you might enjoy something different this week.
I've been using the Jewel Loom for several years now and have made countless projects with it—both beaded and straight weaving. Well, now there's a new loom in town—the Baby Jewel Loom and I find this so exciting because I'm always drawn to smaller tools as I like working small. "The Baby" is about half the size of the full Jewel Loom and is perfect for making simple, regular bracelets. (The full version works for bracelets, too, but I always found it better suited to wrap-style bracelets which are typically twice the length of regular bracelets.) I know many of you enjoy getting your toes wet in the creation of simple jewelry projects and I love introducing you to ways of making that you might not have considered before. So, here is my first project using "The Baby" and I'm sharing it with you.
What You Need
- Baby Jewel Loom
- beading needle(s), 2 is helpful but not required
- beading thread (I’m using white Nymo)
- decorative 4-hole button (for closure)
- seed beads, size 11/0 (I prefer delica), color to coordinate with your ribbon
- silk ribbon (I’m using recycled Sari strip), no wider than 1/2” (13mm), 23”–26” (58cm–66cm) length
- two-hole tile beads, 6mm, 19–25, color to complement your ribbon
Leaving the Familiar
Leaving one's comfort zone behind is both scary and full of promise all at once. In this post, Christine Mason Miller lets us in on not only about her move across the country but about being comfortable in the space of having no idea what's next.
A guest post by Christine Mason Miller
I worked with Christine several times on book projects when I was an editor for North Light Books. Beyond publishing, we find it very easy to be friends and share many interests and values. Being aware that she is currently going through a stage of transition, I asked if she would share her story here of leaving behind everything familiar to explore something new. I can't wait to see what develops for her in this new stage of pursuits and endless—albeit it unknown—possibilities. I have no idea of the ways she will find to continue to share herself with us, but I know with confidence, they'll be first-rate, full of empathy and wisdom. That's how she is, regardless of the road she's on. —Tonia
Almost exactly twenty-two years ago, I marched confidently into the Santa Barbara City Hall to apply for my business license. That day—which was perfectly sunny with clear blue skies, just like most every other day in Santa Barbara—I had a vision, I was fearless, and I completely took my inevitable success for granted. I didn’t question whether or not it was going to happen; I knew it was going to happen. Which sounds a lot like arrogance, I know, but it had nothing to do with thinking I was a big shot and everything to do with total, utter ignorance.
I had a clear image of what I wanted to create but no idea of how to actually make it real which was, it turns out, the best of both worlds. Growing my business was like playing a game of Pin the Tail on the Donkey. I may as well have been blindfolded when I started; the first steps I took toward realizing my dream had me in various states of progress versus backslides. It went that way for a while, but over time I found my footing (and lost the blindfold) and I’ve been going ever since.
These days, when someone asks what I do, I usually flounder. I talk about the different things I’ve been doing over the past few years—writing a book, facilitating retreats—but eventually offer a broader explanation, which is that my work has always been about encouraging others to create a meaningful life but it has been expressed in many different ways. It started with a line of handmade greeting cards launched from a two-bedroom apartment in Santa Barbara in 1995 and now finds me a brand new resident of Milwaukee, Wisconsin with nary a project, goal, or offering in sight.
Because I am essentially wrapping up the past twenty-two years of my professional life—officially, legally shutting down my business—in order to make room for what’s next, which is, at this point, a complete mystery.
Even though my work (whatever it ends up looking like) will continue to be about providing soulful, creative support and inspiration to others, it feels important that it be built on an entirely new foundation. The good news is that my life is currently rife with metaphors in this regard, as my husband and I have just moved from Santa Barbara to Milwaukee. All the physical and geographical foundations of my life are changing—my home, the space I work in, my community, my zip code. Everything is brand new.
There is no need, really, to close my business bank account and make the dissolution of my business official. I won’t likely do anything radically different in Milwaukee. Aside from paying taxes to Wisconsin instead of California, our move doesn’t need to be more than a tiny blip of inconvenience. But deep down, in that space where my intuition resides, I have heard the call loud and clear: Empty the building, close the doors, lock it up and don’t look back. This is a time for new beginnings and new pursuits, all of which need to come to life in an environment free of old stories, patterns, habits, and belief systems.
Over the course of my career, I’ve straddled the before and after of the internet and social media age. I had a website when I started my business, and that was a rarity back in the day. There was no Facebook, Instagram, Squarespace, Snapchat, or Kickstarter. I’ve had to learn (again and again) how to navigate and utilize all of these digital tools and platforms to further my work and offerings. I have had to learn how to create, communicate, share, and promote everything from a course for aspiring authors to a retreat in the wilds of Big Sur. Much of what I do involves me sitting at a computer, which I could have continued to do indefinitely whether we stayed in Santa Barbara, moved to Milwaukee, or traveled around the world.
My work has become, in a way, rootless, at least in terms of geography. There isn’t anything wrong with that per se, and many would argue that is the new normal, but after all this experience in the realm of digital interactions and exchanges, I am longing for something physical, tactile, and textural. I want to have to figure out how to work my magic based on the energy I feel in a room. I want the intuitive. I want the sensory.
I have never lived in Wisconsin, and I know very few people in Milwaukee. I don’t know how I am going to meet people, make friends, find my tribe. And I have no idea how I can be of service to this new community. Are there people in this new city that are longing for the kind of support I am able to offer? Is there a way for me to channel the lessons, experiences and wisdom I’ve gleaned over the past twenty-two years—both professionally and personally—into a meaningful offering that can be shared on the ground and in person rather than predominantly online?
I have been given a few clues over the past few months, and I’m holding them close. They aren’t guiding me toward an entirely new vocation, but they are encouraging me to continue to sit still (or as still as I can in the midst of setting up a new home), be patient, and lean into a space of trust—trust that my path will reveal itself and that this act of closing the doors on everything I’ve done up to this point is important and necessary. And that, when the time feels right (and I know I’ll know when that is), I need to keep the words of Howard Thurman fresh in my mind. I need to begin to build my own foundation, clear of clutter from the past, with gratitude, with trust, with joy.
Christine Mason Miller is an author and artist who has been inspiring others to create a meaningful life since 1995. Transplant: A Podcast about Home, inspired by her recent move to the midwest, can be found at www.christinemasonmiller.com.
Your Beautiful and Inspiring Book is Exactly the Right Type
Just as it takes five types of people to run a peaceful society (do you know your type?), I'd like to share with you five types of art inspiration books I believe keep the creatives of the world thriving.
Just as the five elements work as a team to sustain wellbeing in the body, a balanced mix of five basic types of people—assigned as archetypes—ensure society thrives and avoids downfall and catastrophe. I was fascinated to learn about these five types several years ago in Simon Chokoisky’s book The Five Dharma Types: Vedic Wisdom for Discovering Your Purpose and Destiny and it’s something that's stuck with me. Now I often try to guess “the type” of various people I know or come across. If personality types fascinate you, too, I highly recommend you read the book. And for instant gratification, in exchange for opting-in to his e-newsletter list, you can take the free test on Simon’s site to determine what type you are. I'm not going to go into too much detail about the types, or how they work as a group, because you can learn about all of that much better from Mr. Chokoisky, but I do want to share the gist with you.
It Take a Variety of Types to Live in Harmony
Here are the five types to consider and very, very brief qualities associated with each (read the book to discover a much richer understanding of all five and to learn how they work together):
The Educator
The Renaissance men and women of the world, these people are knowledgable on a wide variety of subjects and make the best teachers. It's their role to assign meaning and purpose to life and to inspire and counsel others.
The Laborer
Laborers require little to feel gratified in life and in addition to be the builders and creators, they're also very grounded and devoted to loving connections with others—particularly family.
The Merchant
Merchant types ensure commerce flows and doesn't get stagnant in the hands of greed. They also have the ability to evoke strong emotions in others and love frivolity and having fun.
The Warrior
As you can guess, the Warrior's role is to protect society. They are the most disciplined and skilled of all the types and can master nearly anything. They are usually perfectionists.
The Outsider
Outsiders are innovative and rebellious. Ultimately, society relies on this type for innovation and advancement—anything requiring radical thinking.
Every Individual Type is Vital to Success of the Whole
No one type is superior to the other four. Each is actually essential to a happy and fully functioning culture. As with any philosophy around archetypes, we are all a mix of all the types, and that holds true with the Dharma Types. At the same time, one type will always dominate and that type has its shadow side as well as its noble qualities. Try to imagine removing one of the above types from the population. Not a pretty picture, right? Or, imagine there being too many or all of one type. Again . . . not a world I would want to live in. Yet, if we're not aware of how important it is to acknowledge why we can't all be the same and that the world does indeed run on there being a nice variety, we can tend to think everyone should be like us—whatever type that is. Feelings of shame can occur when multiple messages around us are telling us we "should" be more like the Warrior for instance—fearlessly defending all of the injustices in society—when in fact we may be an Outsider or an Educator and actually have a very different role to play. No one type can be completely content on his/her own. We need one another to not only enjoy life fully, but to survive.
What Does This Have to Do with Books?
Just as we need a variety of people types to thrive in society, I believe we need a nice variety of art-inspiration books to develop our creative wellbeing. So I came up with my own 5 Book Types!
How-To Technique
This type teaches someone specific techniques to apply to a variety of projects. Example: Soldering, Color Theory, Photography
How-To Project
Project books usually include a handful of basic techniques and then a variety of projects to which the techniques are applied. Example: Painting Seascapes, Knitting Sweaters, Paper Party Decorations
How-To Process
This type takes several techniques, combines them in a unique way and then instructs how to use them not to replicate provided projects, but to be able to design or carry out one's own projects.
Creativity
What I consider to be creativity books may not actually have any techniques to share, but rather encourage ways to bring more creative time into one's life using a variety of prompts or suggested approaches.
Art Inspiration
This is pure art for art's sake. While there may also be content about process or technique, the primary focus is to provide inspiring examples of art that the reader can use as a jumping-off point in his/her own art. This would similar to going to a museum.
Maybe you hadn't previously considered this variety when the notion of writing a book first occurred to you and you began to worry your offering didn't fit the "norm." I think you'll agree with me that we'd be very sad if one of these types of books went away, as each nourishes a different part of us and encourages growth in a specific area. We need a variety of types! If publishing a book that will inspire others is something that's been calling to you, but you don't know where to begin (maybe you're afraid you lack the writing skills?) or how to organize your ideas, I'd love to help you figure it out. You are exactly right, just as you are and you're definitely the right type to inspire others with what you know—whether that's in a book or another form. xo
P.S. I'm currently working on a new offering that will support you in going from desire-to-publish-a-book to complete book outline, ready to begin writing and creating! Be sure you're on my e-newsletter list to be among the first to know and to receive special offers. Enter your address in the box at the bottom of this page.
How to Answer Yourself from Your Heart
A quick exercise to cut through the analytical jibber jabber and go straight to the place true wisdom resides.
The next time you're having a debate with yourself in your head (which, if you're like me, will probably occur within the next hour if not the next ten minutes), just for fun, try this little trick: Grab a pen and paper and write out a question you're seeking clarity on. Before you answer, move your pen to your non-dominant hand. Now write what this hand wants you to write. What comes out may in fact be an answer or it may seem unrelated. Either way, there is true wisdom in those marks because writing in this way comes from the heart more than the head. You can see what words come out as coming from your intuition, your Higher Knowing or the innocent child within. Yes, yes and yes. Whatever it is that you wrote, it's something your heart—your soul—wants you to know.